Song 3 Norseman Warriors to Hell and Back Again
Another Norse Opera
Back in the mean solar day Cornel Wilde was a guy who specialized in playing exotic roles in costume dramas and if The Norseman came out a generation ago, Wilde might have pulled off the pb. Instea he's second billed as the second in command to Viking prince Lee Majors. And Lee is non worth half-dozen million dollars as a Viking. He comes off as Nordic as Antonio Banderas.
Lee's father the male monarch played by Mel Ferrer who is totally unrecognizable in a long flowing beard went off to the unknown due west where rumor hath it a guy named Leif Ericson discovered a continent. We know this is so because the pic is set in 1006, six years after Leif and not Lee Majors found North America and chosen information technology Vineland.
But Mel's non been heard from and his sons Lee and young Charles Pierce, Jr. went off to find him with a handpicked crew of Viking all stars. They've fifty-fifty got a black Viking in Deacon Jones, picked upwards on a raid to Africa, merely whom they've brought into the fold.
Of class Mel and some survivors are found and the Vikings have to deal with some soon to exist chosen Indians in some other 500 years. Fitting that Indians would exist in this film because information technology does play like a western.
Another slice of bad casting is comic actress Kathleen Freeman as the head of the women's segmentation of the tribe. I kept waiting for something foul and/or funny to come up from her mouth, merely it didn't happen.
A lot of overacting from some and underacting from Majors characterizes The Norseman. Beyond the age of 12 I wouldn't recommend information technology.
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Unsung camp gem
Warning: Spoilers
A band of courageous Vikings led by mighty warrior Thorvald (woodenly played with hopelessly stiff earnestness by Lee Majors) go to America to rescue their love Norse king Eurich (Mel Ferrer sporting laughable flowing blonde hair and beard) from the evil clutches of a barbarous tribe of Iroquois Indians.
Writer/director Charles B. Pierce really fumbles the ball with ofttimes uproarious results: The dodgy accents, highly questionable historical accuracy, glaring anachronisms, some seriously egregious casting (Jerry Lewis movie regular Kathleen Freeman equally an irate erstwhile Indian adult female and Jack Elam as a sinister wizard complete with cowl, falcon, and hunchback win the grand booby prizes), clumsy apply of strenuous slow motion, the ridiculously solemn narration, and a few ineptly staged battle set pieces all give this gloriously atrocious gut-buster a sure irresistible kitschy attraction. Cornel Wilde fares well as the noble Ragnar, the luscious Susie Coelho cuts a mighty fetching figure in revealing animal skins equally helpful off-white maiden Winetta, and Jimmy Clem manages to exist both apparent and endearing as lionhearted mute hulk Olif. Jamie Mendoza-Nava's thunderous score hits the stirring spot. Robert Bethard'due south sumptuous widescreen cinematography provides a handsome sweeping look. An absolute hoot and a half.
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Woah this movie!
Alarm: Spoilers
Look, I can hear yous laughing. An 11th-century Viking prince - played by Lee Majors of all people - sets sails for Due north America to discover his missing father, who has been captured by Native Americans. Yes, it'south ridiculous. Only information technology's also directed by Charles B. Pierce, who brought us The Town That Dreaded Sundown and The Fable of Boggy Creek.
Along with Majors, the movie also boasts a packed cast: Cornel Wilde (Gargoyles), Mel Ferrer, Jack Elam, Christopher Connelly (Hot Dog from 1990: The Bronx Warriors), NFL Hall of Famer Deacon Jones, old Tarzan Denny Miller and Kathleen Freeman (Sis Mary Stigmata from The Dejection Brothers). Well, in my world it'southward a star-studded bandage!
Information technology too features Jimmy Clem as Olif. In addition to being in almost every one of Pierce'southward films, he was also famous for owning and breeding one of the almost respected and revered Brahman cattle herds in the world.
The major highlight of this film is the wacky mask that Lee Majors wears, forth with his little mustache. It'due south actually quite breathtaking. Really, this movie is across ridiculous and it's kind of shocking that it ever made it to the screen. That doesn't mean that I didn't love it and won't endeavour to put information technology on if you lot ever visit my business firm, dearest reader. It'due south the perfect picture to be enjoyed alongside all manner of mind-altering substances!
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Rest in … Pierce
Writer/director Charles B. Pierce deceased a couple of months a agone at age 71. He may not have been the greatest cinematic genius who ever lived, only personally I really liked him. Pierce worked every bit a gear up decorator for multiple nifty movies and most single-handedly made (wrote, produced & directed) a couple of cool small-scale classics in the horror genre, similar "The Legend of Boggy Creek", "The Boondocks that Dreaded Sundown" and "The Evictors". Particularly the latter two are terrific only sadly underrated gems with a raw atmosphere and bang-up suspense. Rather than re-watching those classics in his honor, which is what we should accept done instead, my mate and I watched something "different" from Charles B. Pierce … A Viking pic with a truly cool-looking VHS cover and starring Lee "Half-dozen 1000000 Dollar Man" Majors! How bad can it be? Well, "The Norseman" is tremendously bad, unfortunately, and that'southward a real shame considering the bones premise showed so much potential. Charles B. Pierce'due south script departs from the existing theory that the Norsemen already reached the northern American shores approximately five hundred years before Christopher Columbus did (they named information technology Wineland) and came into violent conflict with the aboriginals. The thought of encarmine battles and carnage betwixt Vikings and Native Americans sounds awesome, merely this motion-picture show is a boring and ludicrous mess. A boat full of Norsemen led past the mighty Thorvald (Lee Majors … I've never seen a cleaner and more than properly shaved Viking) head towards America in search for their rex Eurich, who went missing during a previous conquering trip. The king and several of his traveling companions were indeed captured by the Native Americans, and they are well prepared for whatever possible side by side encounters with intruders. Charles B. Pierce'south screenplay for "The Norseman" is completely inaccurate and downright dumb! The Vikings supposedly were the most barbaric warriors in our history books, but here they bear like a agglomeration of terrified sissies. They drivel about courageous warfare and Northern Gods, just they accomplish absolutely nothing. In fact, it are the Native Americans that behave like the Norsemen ought to! They are the ones who enslaved and fifty-fifty blinded their Viking prisoners. The fight sequences are laughably weak and bloodless. The acting performances are all wooden and uninspired. The only half-decent functioning comes from Jack Elam every bit the Death Dreamer. He'south some kind of magician who forewarns the Norsemen about upcoming dangers. The Vikings merits that nobody has ever seen his confront, even though he walks around with his bearded confront exposed the entire time. That, along with the fact there apparently existed black Vikings, is the low point of "The Norseman". "The Town that Dreaded Sundown" and "The Evictors" come with my highest possible recommendation, but play stay far away from this Charles B. Pierce turkey!
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Endlessly amusing garbage.
When you get a load of this casting mix and this plot, you're probably already preparing yourself for a dumb, giddy and cheese brawl menstruation gamble. Much of the acting is less than stellar (yet entertaining in its own way), the accents (or lack thereof) priceless, and the action ridiculous. There's a fair bit of blood hither for a PG rated picture, simply overall this is a pretty "adept" diversion on a crummy, politically incorrect, wholly inaccurate level.
The hilariously cast Lee Majors of 'The Six Million Dollar Man' and 'The Fall Guy' fame plays proud Norse warrior Thorvald, accompanying a group of his men to America (which they dub "Vineland"), where his father, the King (Mel Ferrer), had vanished previously. It turns out that dad had been abducted past the local Indian tribe, then the very slim story ends upward turning into a "Norseman vs. Indians" series of battles. Likewise along for the ride are none other than Jack Elam as an quondam "sorcerer", Cornel Wilde as a Norseman named Ragnar, Christopher Connelly as Rolf, Jimmy Clem, a regular in the films of Charles B. Pierce ("The Legend of Boggy Creek", "The Town That Dreaded Sundown"), and the directors' son Chuck Pierce equally Majors' younger brother. Sonny Bonos' third wife Susie Coelho plays the young Indian hottie who sympathizes with the Norsemen and betrays her tribe. And is that Kathleen Freeman equally an old Indian adult female? It sure is.
This is worthy of some hearty chuckles, thanks to the script (by Pierce Sr. himself) and performances. But information technology'southward not totally defective in quality, with sharp Panavision photography past Robert Bethard and stirring, atmospheric music past Jaime Mendoza-Nava.
This may not exist one of the directors' finer moments, but it's all the same fun to a degree.
Executive produced, uncredited, by Majors and his then wife, Farrah Fawcett.
Five out of 10.
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Call back the Battle of Rodan?
**SPOILERS** Going on a rescue mission a ship-load of Norsemen brand their way beyond the Keen Ocean, Atlantic Ocean, back in the 11th century to observe their great leader King Eurich, Mel Ferrer. Rex Eurich together with his band of Viking seamen disappeared in the wilds of Vineland, prehistoric America, some fourth dimension earlier.
Leading this rescue expedition is King Eurich's son the utterly fearless and courageous Thoruald, Lee Majors, who with his fellow Norsemen that included the on boat Wizard Decease Dreamer, Jack Elam, who's always BS-ing and double-talking his way through the movie in order to avert existence put on a raft and sent out to sea past Thoruald as punishment for beingness a false prophet. Likewise on board is the gigantic and totally fearless and speechless Norseman Olif, Jimmy Clem, who had his tongue cut out in a battle off the African coast by the now honorary Norseman and Viking Thrall, Deacon Jones, a onetime African warrior main who has since get Olif'south best friend.
Landing on the far northern coast of Vineland, that looks a lot like Florida,the Norsemen meet trouble with the natives who attack them relentlessly killing a number of them even though the Norsemen take out far more than natives then they lose of their own. The natives who outnumber the Norsemen by a ratio of at to the lowest degree of 100 to 1 is what makes their boxing with the Noresmen very 1 sided and in favor of themselves. It will only be a matter of fourth dimension before natives finish off the reminding valiant, but very hopelessly outnumbered, Norsemen with their human wave-similar assaults.
One of the native women Winetta, Susie Coelho,who fell for the earlier "Blond Giants" or Nrosemen, led by Male monarch Eurich, get'southward in touch with Thoruald through sign language. Winetta tells him that his begetter is alive and being held captive together with a number of his Norsemen survivors by the native leader Klwnonga, Jerry Daniels, or Smiley. Information technology was Klwnonga who double-crossed the friendly Norsemen by getting them boozer, every bit they were partying with the natives, and then after killing most of them had King Eurich and three of his fellow Norsemen blinded and put in a cave forced to grind whole corn kernels into cornmeal for the natives.
Thoruald who for some reason doesn't have on the usual Viking horned helmet, that his beau Norsemen wear, merely what looks like an ancient Greek or Roman ane with a black Lone Ranger mask under it is lead to the cave by Winette. It's there where his father, King Eurich, and his fellow Norsemen are being held captive. Afterward knocking off their native guards Thoruald & Co. make a run for it through the woods to the safety of the awaiting Norseman transport but non after having it out with the perusing natives. The Norseman/Native showdown results in Klwnonga/Smiley getting his eyes desperately damaged past Death Dreamer'due south pet hawk. Thoruald and his fellow Norsemen don't sail out of danger and out to bounding main until the mighty Olif who voluntarily, confronting Thoruald's orders, stayed behind to concord off the hundreds of attacking wild and screaming natives all by himself. Afterwards miraculously surviving the ferocious native attack, with nearly a half-dozen arrows withal stuck in him, Olif is so too rescued.
This whole magilla, long story,is told to us in retrospect by the Norseman send's houseboy, or ship-boy, young Eric, Chuck Pierce Jr. Eric has since become a full-fledged Viking Warrior like his friend and hero Thoruald who taught young Eric everything he knew near force courage and most of all dedication to ane'southward family friends and people. Thoruald also idea Eric non to give in or surrender when all seems lost and hopeless and that more then anything else is what made the mighty Norsemen, or Vikings, the feared and invincible "Blond Warriors" that they were. Those hard hitting Norsemen were no i to fool effectually with like the natives in the movie sadly found out. These blond and fearless giants defeated confronting unbelievable odds all comers on 4 unlike continents, Asia Africa Europe and Due north America. It's and undeniable fact that the Norsemen could take easily conquered the entire civilized, as well every bit uncivilized, world back so if they only wanted besides which they didn't.
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MAJOR-LY bad
I saw this movie for the first fourth dimension today, and my expectations were soon thrown into disillusion. The interim was good, some lines amusingly uttered by Majors non come off, showing upwardly for a fool, some of information technology stilted. Ferrer was the best, playing Major'south Dad I recall, disguised like a Zeus god. His performance really impressed on me, first not noticing this cracking thespian. The affair that really makes this film suffer is the shoddy photography, which tells me there was a desperate budget, backside this medi-evil misfire. Nosotros have a lot of scenes, with two separate shots, equally if dismally failing to make us think, it'due south one location, battle scenes, with vikings coming out of the rough seas to fight the Indians charging out of the woods. Again, more shoddiness, I was left incredulous, thinking "You gotta be kidding"? Someone not kidding well-nigh making this flick, shouldn't be declared sane. The film, void of a lot of life, unimpresses on many fronts, I for one, was on a comedown, it's antidote, comic Majors, and that blind guy. Hardly any blood is shed, where it'southward unsaid instead.This pic'southward then bad, another indicator of cheapness, the end credits even so playing over exchanging dialogue, where to me that's a plus, in light of what I've watched.You even have a romantic comedown, with Majors and that hamlet Indian girl, where you really call back, earlier something may evolve. This could be one film, you'll be glad to see the dorsum off, or may'be have just one more watch, thank you to it's amusing factors. A historical medi evil film that will gone down in the history, as one of the worst of it's kind. The music is 1 of a few better things in this droning turkey.
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Ed Woods Jr. ain't got nothin' on this babe
Did y'all know it took Five men to edit this film? I don't think I've ever seen whatever other pic with more than two, possibly three, credited editors. It'southward not surprising, though, considering what they had to work with. Have a wooden Lee Majors as the Six Million Dollar Norseman. Add in an asinine plot about a Viking vs. Native American war. Thicken and stir with the producer's son in a vanity role as a young Viking with all the acting power of a lamppost, and sprinkle with Deacon Jones playing a black (yes, as in of African extract!!) Viking who got picked up on an before longboat jaunt. The effect is surely ane of the ten worst films e'er to go a theatrical release, and that is no like shooting fish in a barrel accomplishment. Your jaw will hang open in horror for the full 97 minute running time.
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Not the worst flick, but far from nifty
Watchable, only more often than not unspectacular Vikings vs. Indians movie. Even though this came out in the late 1970'southward, it looks like information technology could take been made 15 to 20 years previous. Lee Majors helms the longship to The New World in search of his male parent who did non return from a previous trek and captured by hostile indians. Much like a western from the 50's the native tribes are portrayed in a very one dimensional fashion and like the 50'southward, non a single Native American is cast in this either. The acting is adequite, but far from exceptional. The action is nothing special either. The one chemical element I did notice interesting is character thespian Jack Elam equally the Viking wizard. I'm certain this production was fairly inexpensive and is decent for non costing much to make. All the same watchable, The Norseman is a pretty boring period action movie and very fiddling about the moving picture stands out as heady or memorable.
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The movie poster says information technology all
Look at the movie poster. Front and heart is an almost nude Indian maiden, her ample uncovered butt pointed right at yous equally she looks on.
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so how'd AFI's peak 100 miss this?
Forget 13th WARRIOR, (John McTiernan's worst picture notwithstanding) this is the quintessential viking hack-em-up motion-picture show. How many other films have Lee Majors, Christopher Connelly, and Mel Ferrer equally raping and pillaging vikings marching around the forests of Eastern Canada. Certain Ferrer and Connelly are nearly unrecognizable underneath all that hair, simply they look enough goofy constantly rolling their eyes, as if to betoken "what the hell am I doing in this motion picture?" The native hamlet and cave interiors were not convincing at all, shoe-string upkeep fakey, but the viking ship and costumes were absurd plenty to brand up for information technology. Gotta dig the goofy hunchback wizard played by an actor who looks a flake like Richard Johnson... There'due south also a ton of actually absurd combat scenes betwixt the vikings and the natives, with perchance an overuse(?) of slow movement (as if such a thing tin happen). Mayhap the pic would've been around 50 minutes long if non for all the tiresome movement... merely and then again it IS Lee Majors, the six-Meg-Dollar-Man or whatnot, and slow motion is his matter. Same goes for Lou Ferrigno, who subsequently starred in Hercules and Sinbad of the Vii Seas, directed by some other slow-motion vitrify Enzo 1000. Castellari.
The nearly off-putting attribute of THE NORSEMAN has to exist the presence of Chuck Pierce Jr., the director's son. What purpose did his character play, other than to requite the kid an acting vehicle and make his father proud (which I highly incertitude was an terminate result). This moving picture is really rare, and I advise all of y'all snatch those last few remaining copies up while they're still floating effectually.
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Worst? Impiossible !!!
The only explanation for this production to ever take been fabricated is that managing director and actors where on holiday in some Caribbean beach and only for fun they decided to brand a picture with one of them's hand camera.
Besides a plot neither better nor worse than others nosotros have seen -Torvald is a viking prince sailing in search of his father captured by American Indians- the point with this "film" is that no i in it (managing director, actors and coiffure) shows the minimum involvement or endeavour in getting somewhere. Producers, if there were any, definitely decided not spend a dollar in "The Norsman". At that place's no script, no settings, no music score, no backgrounds (except nature), no zip.
The cast is cheap too. Lee Majors (Torvald) could never act and the aforementioned goes to Cornel Wilde (his sidekick Ragnar). Fine actors like Mel Ferrer (Torvald's father) and Jack Elam (some sort of magician) were past and then on their way back in their carriers and they don't fifty-fifty announced much.
No tension, no climax, no interest in what may happen, no null.
Probably the worst motion-picture show ever in its genre. ¡Mama Mìa!!!
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A Turgid Mess that is not even enjoyably bad.
The historical position that Viking Norsemen had contact with Inuits or Algonquins from the fringes of Northeast America is debatable if non highly improbable. But according to some Viking sagas there are unreliable literary claims that this happened. Based on the AI production of The Norseman this takes the historical claim to wildly preposterous levels. I did a lilliputian research later I saw this dreadful film and discovered that all they had correct were a couple of historical names and the god they worshiped (Onid) accurate.
As for the movie itself we see poorly choreographed battles sketches with clumsy jump cuts, edits and inappropriate usage of slow motion. Now I read some of the other reviews and some are quite scathing and hilarious. Teeing off on a bad movie can be fun some of you did a good job of promoting mockery and satire. Oh, only only if this movie was a satire information technology would be forgivable. But it'south non, unfortunately. The Norseman is a 1970'southward B-Movie that looks more like a 1950's B- Moving-picture show with all of its cut rate production values, bad costumes, wooden acting, grandiose score and redundant tone. The problem here is that information technology'due south even worse than your boilerplate 1950's period movie.
Listening to Vikings talk with southern accents while uttering archaic dialogue is evidently just a case of bad interim and the disability to capture the proper mood for a menstruum picture. Equally such, the result here is only bizarre. Lee Majors plays the pb commander (Thorvald) and can't seem to shed his normal persona of a Proficient Former male child. Now I'll endeavor to exist kind about Lee. I accept nada against the guy personally and I don't think he is a bottom rate actor, merely he looks so out of place in this type of office. And i couldn't quite figure out his outfit which looked like a hodgepodge of historical costume anachronisms. His helmet and facial baby-sit looked like a cheaply designed helm of a Roman legionnaire. His face mask looked more like a Lone ranger middle mask. The rest of his outfit looked like a poorly tailored S&M fetish outfit.
And don't forget that ex-NFL Lineman, Deacon Jones, has a non- speaking role as the Blackness Viking who was enslaved past the Norsemen during a raid on the African Declension. Alright, I understand that the vikings did at one fourth dimension venture by the coast of Africa, followed by the Roman victory over the Vikings and Visigoths, just the likelihood is highly improbable. I approximate information technology was part of the 1970's social equanimity conscious that influenced this film to incorporate a Black thespian.
The rest of the bandage doesn't bode also well either. The Native Indians are shown as screeching savages. The Viking hoard are adorned with their goofy furs, Horned helmets ( I heard this was inaccurate) and swords. Susie Coehlle offers some eye candy as a young Native woman who befriends the Norsemen to aid them find their captive family unit members.
After reading the reviews i was hoping to discover that if the picture is and so universally perceived every bit crappy then information technology must be worth laughing at. But information technology wasn't for me. It was just boring and nauseating to the indicate that I wanted everyone, specially the Norsemen players, to be slain by the Indians.
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This pic was supposed to stink, right? Please tell me the film-makers wanted this motion picture to stink!
Information technology stinks.
Lee 'The Vi Million Dollar Man' Majors. If he isn't one of the Top X WORST excuses for an actor in cinematic history, then somebody needs to be taken off that listing so we can put Majors on it.
The bionic dud shows upwardly with a crooked mustache and a late 1970's hairstyle. He utters lines of 'menstruation' dialogue with all the urgency of a constipated snail. Helping him stink is Cornel Wilde(!) -- what the freak is he doing in this creaky tripe? Majors employed a small-scale band of his buddies including Denny Miller (the guy who played 'Tongo' the ape man on Gilligan'south Island about a thousand years ago). The only real question here is: How did Majors go far at the decision that doing this film would be a 'good idea'?
Everything in this picture stinks, especially Majors, whom no dubiousness forgot to drinkable a cup of coffee each morning earlier filming then nosotros could tell he was awake.
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Vikings vs. Indians
They could take at least tried to brand this funnier if they weren't going to go far competently. Simply so this IS a Charles B. Pierce film, and a 'Fawcett-Majors Presentation' featuring Pierce'south son, niggling Chuck, and starring Lee Majors every bit Thorvald. You can't expect much with that pedigree, just we're in John Wayne 'The Conqueror' territory here. C'mon now, Lee Majors as a viking? What were they thinking? And seeing equally it stars the former 6-Meg-Dollar Human, it pays homage to that series by including plenty of slow-mo action scenes. All yous need is the at present classic ditta-ditta-ditta electronic sound effects to go with the boring-mo and you lot've got a express joy riot. But there is plenty to laugh at, including Majors' 70'southward porno-mode moustache (no beard like everyone else, he'due south THE STAR, but I suppose he was willing to cover his upper lip as a concession to history). Then there is Jack Elam equally a norse sorceror (judge Slim Pickens wasn't available) and Deacon Jones as a black viking (Spike Lee would approve, although historians might disagree). For those outside the U.S., Jones was a football player, and the filmmakers, out of fairness, too cast a white ex-football player (Fred Biletnikoff) as a boyfriend norseman. At that place is also a pretty girl along for the ride in Susie Coehlo, although she spends too much time with a pair of blinded norsemen who sport some of the almost unfortunate hairpieces you've ever witnessed. Thankfully for Cornel Wilde, he is and so buried in hair that he is almost unrecognizable and therefore, in 1 sense, he's not really in this movie. Unfortunately, Lee Majors IS in this pic, and worst of all, is the star. It's difficult to tell which is more than wooden, his ship or his acting. Yep, it'due south his acting. In fact, it's probably an inside game for casting agents to challenge each other to observe a more wooden star than Majors. He's the champ! He could hire himself out as a Termite Whisperer. Needless to say, this junk is best avoided. You've been warned.
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Practiced Simply Could Have Been Better
I give this a seven considering I like Viking movies and had not gotten to see this when it came out. Once should not be too hard on Lee Majors as he had his money tied upward in this and besides unfortunately I understand it did not do well at the box office. I am sure he was able to become a tax write off. Given that he had gotten to the summit at this fourth dimension, it is likewise articulate that this was a personal project for him as successful actors often attempt to do.
All of the actors did likewise every bit they could with the material they had to work with. I think this was too big a projection for Charles B. Pierce, residuum in peace, and it showed in the writing and directing. A different managing director may have fabricated it improve. It is also fun to watch Jack Elam, Denny Miller, and Christopher Connelly who had probably never done a Norse movie before become to stretch their acting muscles and practice something unlike. May they all rest in peace.
Lee Majors had done well in his career and is nonetheless in the business organization 39 years after this so he must be doing something right. He is also doing Christian movies in addition to other projects so he is still stretching his interim muscles. A good film to watch if you are looking for something to stay up late with.
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Vikings sneak past Seminoles in 2nd half
Warning: Spoilers
The Norseman is about as historically accurate every bit Abe Lincoln defeating the Nazis while riding a T-Rex. Charles B. Pierce's take on the Vikings landing on an 11th century Northward America casts Lee Majors as six 1000000 dollar norseman, or as he insists on pronouncing information technology norzeman, Thorvald who takes his crew on a perilous quest to find out why his begetter and his crew never returned from a far away country. If he fails will the crew make him the fall guy? Sorry couldn't resist. After landing in the Tampa/St. Pete neighborhood and mistaking it for Newfoundland (happens all the fourth dimension) Thorvald and his crew of mixed bag warriors including 2 NFL hall of famers in Deacon Jones and Fred Biletnikoff just then happen to land in not only the aforementioned spot as the beginning coiffure just detect the very Caucasian looking native Americans who imprisoned them. What luck! A startling number of these natives are overweight giving acceptance that possibly information technology wasn't wars or European diseases that wiped out the Indians rather massive middle failures. After consulting the ridiculous wizard that no one knows what his face looks like except for the fact that in every scene yous tin conspicuously run across Jack Elam'southward googly-eyed mug, the vikings go out in search of where the natives are holding the remaining survivors. With the assist of a young female person squaw who's outfit is more than adequate for lap dances rather than pelting, Thorvald and his crew fight the massive hordes of Indians, save the sometime man, and high tail it back north minus a few dauntless souls that lost their lives thanks to the dreaded arrow to the rear finish.
Not surprisingly Lee Majors is about equally convincing a Viking as Deacon Jones is. With his cheesy mustache and helmet that looks like an accessory for a Gothic S&M outfit, Majors' dry line-reading and lifeless performance had me rooting for the "badguys". Information technology'south amazing how advanced the Vikings pulley engineering science seems as they hoisted the sails for the cracking getaway. At this point in the picture I was one-half hoping that they all boarded a 727 and flew home since believability went out the door equally soon as Florida was mistaken for Canada. The picture uses the same vocal over and over to the point where a Viking can't accept a dump in the river without it blasting in the groundwork. This is a hard film to find and i that rarely gets mentioned with any other of Charles B. Pierce's works. Piffling wonder why but all the same worthy of viewing if you tin track this down just to see probably the most absurdly hokey Viking pic ever made.
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What the hell was that?!
Isn't always sad to rediscover a memory from your childhood that you lot treasured greatly, only and so finding it as an adult, and non being able to figure out how in the hell y'all mayhap could have liked it in the first identify. That'south how I felt upon seeing this pic a while back. I tin recall vividly when I went and saw this pic when I was ten, and my friends and I existence diddled away by it. In fact I saw it three times in one week. (no lie) When I saw information technology last, I pondered how could I not take seen the FATAL miscasting of Lee Majors. How I overlooked the black(!?) viking. Why did I not conceive that the plot for this was then laughably stupid (Vikings vs. American Indians). Sigh, it'south a sad fact of life, the smarter you get, the DUMBER you realize you lot were.
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that's norZZeman to you, babe.
and to the affiche who summed up i of the very best moments in the film with: "a viking gets shot in the ass with an arrow and dies"--dude, my chapeau is off to you. i laughed for nearly v minutes after reading that.
some questions: why do the norzzemen act like such pusses? they're e'er running abroad from these crazy injuns. i idea norzzemen were all brave with the rapings and pillagings and such.
how did they manage to cross the ocean in that rowboat? wasn't it a little crude? doesn't look seaworthy to me.
aside from the funny horn helmets, doesn't that armor wait like leftovers from the last sword and sandal moving-picture show AIP did? why did the tribe of tan white guys poke out all the eyes of the party-down norzzemen who apparently came to the shores of Florida just for the sake of letting loose? besides, why does the leader of the tan white guys tribe shout so much? accept it easy, man.
there'due south such keen stuff here. the blackness viking should become his own pic considering for god'due south sake, he's a BLACK VIKING. at one point lee majors really tells the boatload of norzzemen to 'concur their arrows' as though he were a cop. the touching reunion between lee and daddy mel is really creepy because of all the centre rolling washed to portray incomprehension.
most of the activity sequences are shot and edited exactly similar a monty python sketch, and i hope that others will agree that this uncanny sensibility makes the film simply amazing.
owl got his REVENGE for the viking brothers, yo.
pull up a case of cheap beer and relish, z-grade movie lovers.
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unbelievable
Let'due south take into account, first of all, the casting. Start with David Deacon Jones as a Blackness Viking. Add Freddy Biletnikoff at wide rece...oops, a white Viking. Mix in Chuck Pierce, Jr., coincidentally the son of the guy who is credited equally the producer, director and writer. It than goes steadily downhill to a strange mix of pro., semi-pro, and apprentice "actors" that amounts to the most motley excuse for a cast that could perchance be assembled. The musical score is out of wack,the dialogue absurd, the costumes seem straight out of a junior high class play and the story makes no sense. Add together it all upwardly and the sum of the parts equals a mess then bad that even an aficianado of bad movies (me) could not discover any enjoyment in suffering through the silly proceedings. I dare any normal homo over the age of 8 to sentry this from kickoff to end.
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Not funny
This show is NOT funny. Non certain why they are allowed to brand new episodes
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Doesn't Susie Coelho as the Indian girl look like Susan Sarandon?
That's my only annotate. I meet that the Susie of the film was Sonny Bono's 3rd wife. But I swore she was Sarandon throughout the film until I checked IMDb. I'g surprised no ane else noted this. Am I blind? Or did Sarandon secretly block this on her resume? I demand 10 lines. The rest is filler. I actually enjoyed the picture show. But agree with how awful it was. Oh, to be a kid again. Then one could enjoy nonsense thoroughly. I had thought this might be a Cornel Wilde production. He did some pretty seedy films, though some expert ones too. I thought Majors had plenty of competition for bad acting in this film. Simply the color was fine. And there was excitement. Gotta lower your cynicysm.
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Vikings vs. Indians in pre-Columbian North America
In that location's certainly no shortage of COWBOYS vs. Indians movies, merely this is the simply VIKINGS vs. Indians one that I know of. Interesting idea (and not without historical basis), and actually interesting story IMO, albeit admittedly weak on the execution. Lee Majors is a stolid (and arguably wooden) Viking prince ("Lord Thorwald") with a Texas accent ("Usa Norse men . . . ) who leads an expedition of frat-boy Vikings in a search for an earlier expedition that went missing. (It turns out that they were blinded and enslaved past the locals when they started to get besides close to the latter'southward women!) Veteran actors Cornel Wilde and Mel Ferrer are on mitt, as Lord Thorwald'due south loyal second and enslaved king/father, respectively. And fifty-fifty young Eric the Cherry is along for the ride. (In actual history, Eric the Ruby-red WAS the son of Thorwald, just neither ever fabricated information technology to the N American mainland; it was ERIC's son Leif who somewhen did so.) And speaking of cowboys, veteran WESTERN actor Jack Elam plays the ship's resident mystic magician, who even has a pet militarist whose claws show capable of doing some blinding when let loose. Meanwhile, post-Cher Sonny Bono squeeze Susie Coelho is no strain on the eyeballs as a rather fetching young Indian maid who is sympathetic to the Vikings. All in all a not unenjoyable film and one I'm rather addicted of. Definitely one that would not brand someone feel unfortunate if they encountered it on late-night Tv.
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Non Oscar Material, But Not Unbelievable
I tend to cut movies a lot of slack, since I believe that the more sophisticated our movie-making abilities become the less people tend to use their imaginations. I bought a used VHS copy of "The Norseman," and watching it every bit an adult I really enjoyed it. Certain, it'south non a well-made motion picture, just it's a pitiful fact of life that often the smarter we become, the more jaded we get. I doubtable the reason one viewer enjoyed the movie at ten and hated it every bit an adult is that watching it through eyes of childlike wonder he was able to suspend atheism and encounter the movie'southward real meaning.
Also, what's so "laughably stupid" nearly the plot, a conflict between Vikings and Native Americans? There is pretty skilful evidence that the Vikings were in North America; ever hear of Vinland? And every bit for the "black Viking," that was probably a pandering to '70s social consciousness; just however, could they not have picked up an African man in their travels? Everyone has their tastes, merely I establish this movie'southward theme unique and intriguing.
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Gritty
Great historical moving picture. Thoroughly enjoyed information technology. Lee Major gives a great performance. The characters are believable. Recommend.
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